money n power the root of it all...

Betrayed,thats how i felt today. Never thought that a close friend would actually stab you in the back,its crazy enough to becareful with your competitors but when the competitor is a friend you dont expect that.

Emails,phone calls,smss are not returned-all i want is clarification,but no she has chosen the silent mode ! Its important in life that you dont have bad thoughts about people,because negative thots creates more negative thots and the consquences is a lot of "bad feelings kind of environment".Tapi takpalah no need to dwell in all this negativity, as i said to this "friend" of mine ( thru sms ) the world is a cycle,what goes around comes around-do good and good things will happen,do bad things and just wait...

But i forgive her, else im just as bad...

Whats the source of this betrayal ? Well,recently when i meet "people"/fellow businessmen-they have been saying things like..ya la you sibok banyak kerja...you seem to be getting all the jobs...etc...the kind of things which is very irritating to hear because you want jobs youve got to work hard,deliver and hope n pray that the almighty continues your rezk

They think "knowing who" is enough even if they dont know how ! There are people who would be supportive of you only if youre lesser than them then if youre better of thats when trouble starts. They dont bother me, but when the backbiting starts...

The cause,its all about money...

AArgh...

does scribling and jotting ideas on a piece of paper or actually listing things that you want to do/need to do assist you in multi tasking ? Mind Mapping ? whats the best way to "organize" your thoughts?

I think it depends on the complexities of the task,simple straight forward problems can be organised linearly whereas the ones that link to one another needs the more than one dimension diagrams..? there are times however the simple one are connected to the more complex ones and v.versa,well cant show it diagramatically here...see because of the medium

talking on the handphone,writing/typing ? on the note book and reading a report thats due in one hour-whats the solution on this. Is Multi tasking doing many things at one time or doing many things at different times but in a limited time frame say within 2hours-that include lunch...

trying to figure out what i just wrote...

Re-focus

Ive been sick for the past few days-really sick-was throwing up and couldnt eat anything. The situation was so bad that i thought that my end was near ! Its during these kind of times that you wish you had live life a bit differently-which had spend more time praying,more time with your loved ones etc...no one im sure on their deathbed would say i wish i had spend more time at work...

So when i went to the office today,after not going for the past four days ! i found that half my staff are going for interviews for government jobs,as we are all aware the government has now better perks than the private sector,especially for entry level and those who are just starting out in their careers. Sometime last year i wanted to quit the business because at that moment i had some savings and even if i didnt get any new jobs, i would be able to survive a couple of years,but then against my better judgement,i decided to continue as i felt responsible towards my staff-i have ten of them-who r married,have kids,car/housing loans etc. But they wouldnt blink an eye in leaving me for greener pastures...but you cant really blame them as a person would do whats best for them.

Therefore i have to refocus too,because to start with a fresh bunch is too taxing,it will at least a year for they have the minimal ability to work within a consultancy environment and that too if they have the right attitude...

Time and how to manage it.

Its been a long,long time since ive written,works it seems is endless,it makes you crazy but you have to do it to survive or else how do you feed the family. I wish there could be more time but you have to make time they say...All i can say is that i dont wish to be working like this for too long,i really wold love to spend more time with the family,more time reading and reflecting,but its not easy. Im quite organised actually-its just that ive got to learn to let go n delegate more, The nature of my business however does not allow me to do that,clients still wants to see me more than my senior staff. Ive got to figurethis out...

TGIF

Its Friday,yes thank God its Friday ! Friday is always special and today its a little bit more special because next week i'll be going to Saudi Arabia for some business purposes-and hopefully,insyaAllah to do my Umrah ! Its been hectic the last few months,a culmination of work,personal responsiblities and professional commitments. Because of the work load my time at the surau has been getting less and less. I feel sad actually but sometimes meetings and work carry over towards magrhib...by the time i get out of office im totally zonk. But i realize that this is not good for me on the spiritual side. I guess its something that you have to work with. Iman is not a constant ! Abt my trip to Saudi it has been changed three times, the dates ! Just to accomodate the VIP's ,im pissed ! I know im not suppose to be,but its difficult to make plans if the dates keep on changing. The trip which is suppose to take place in April has changed because so many times...
Friday thus makes you think more about Allah swt than normal days and there r many sources that testify to this. So we should make the effort to muhasabah ourselves on this day,what we have accomplished in the last few days of the previous week etc. Ive got to decide on my business,where r we going what needs to be done,how long should we stay in this business as the cost of staying in business is rather high ! But its also ibadah as we provide rezeki to others of course Gods rezk,we r just the channel. Anyways...time to get to work!!!

The need to write...

Sometimes, i wonder why there are so many people using the "blog" to pour their heart out,their thoughts and innermost emotions. I think people in general have this need to tell others,to tell a story,to share but in todays volatile world,people are too busy with their daily life...for them just to sit down and have a chat with each other. The other problem is to find the right person to talk to. I guess creative people (like writers) end up being great story tellers,by writing a book,producing a movie,witing a play etc,others have great stories to tell to but end up just keeping it in them...sigh

R writers then lonely people or they choose to be private in person but expressive in writing. Or is it a little of both...

Searching for the creator...

I met an excellent speaker ( preacher ) last night. His story is truly amazing and it strenghten my believe that if you truly set your mind in search of the creator-almighty God will help and assist you in finding him. This man is highly successful in his career,has a good family and throughout his life never had to face insurmountable problems...yet he feels empty because his heart was seaching for his creator. The ultimate reason for living. His longing was answered in many subtle ways-for God was providing him with clues-clues which later made sense when he finally submitted to the will of Allah swt. There is a lot more details in this amazing story but i dont have the "expertise" to actually tell it all here. But there a few common occurences in this story as with other stories of people searching for the truth amongst them are 1. You have to be sincere with yourself-youre doing this because there is a voice in you that is not satisfied until you have found the truth. 2.Your journey of discovery is not easy it is littered with challenges and pitfalls 3. You have to read,discuss and continously meet with people of different religion and faith. 4.You must not form conclusiond from limited information nor have prejudices, but most of all you must ask God to help and guide u. Godwilling you find your creator and he will let you find him.