Its that time of the year again, a time to reflect and ponder and wonder how far we have gone towards reaching our goal in totally submitting ourselves to the will of Allah swt. The year has gone by so fast and before you know it,insyaAllah we will be experiencing another Ramadhan. I have mix feelings this year especially, because many things have happened, some for the better and some not so good...

Since coming back from Haj in 2005/2006, ive gone for Umrah twice once in July 2006 and again recently in May 2007. I feel very fortunate and thankful to have been given this oppurtunity by Allah swt. On the other hand I m also very sad and upset with the situation that im in. Im still bogged down with work and have very little time to do fav things like reading and writing etc...then even my solat is not satisfactory,i know it and i can feel it. Whats more alarming is that i feel that my level of keimanan is deteriorating when i benchmark it against the first time i comeback from Haj. Its normal to have your faith ( degree of it ) flactuate during periods of time but its worrying knowing that its happening and you cant do much to stop the slide. Its also a test by Allah swt-i hope Allah swt will protect and continously guide me and not leave me...

Ramadhan somehow recharges me and my faith. I love the terawih prayers as it makes me feel part of a larger muslim community/ummah. With a hungry tummy and a desire to make the most of Ramadhan the prayers becomes better and better,insyaAllah. Unfortunately for us in Selangor,the state MB has decided that there will be no tazkirah during the break for Terawih prayers.( its our Prophets saw tradition to have a break and teraweh prayers is to be done at a relax pace not like an express train speed so that we can complete 20 rakaat )This is so unfortunate, because its during the tazkirah that we get to understand the Quran better through tafsiran by ulamaks and hafiz, else for people who dont understand Arabic the reading of a whole Quran during this month becomes just that reading-no comprehension no understanding of God's words-warnings,lessons,laws etc.



...unfortunately for my jemaah/qariah and me our Surau in Sek 8 has also been closed by JAIS. ( yesterday after Asar-indefinitely-imagine that Ramadhan is two days away ! ) This is another long and sad story,but suffice to say that the present Government or some of the people in it are people who dont take kindly to criticism. Which brings me to my earlier point-the degree of iman is sliding because you live in an environment that is very antigonistic towards Islam. You are either with them or against them attitude ( same attitude of the Bush administration) makes life very difficult for the average Muslims. The recent events in our beloved country has also made me very angry and sad ( Negarakuku, Riots in Terengganu, Pigs in Malacca ) I feel that Muslims ( in particular Malay Muslims )in this country are slowly but surely loosing their identity and self believe. They are told that to be true Muslims you must follow the mould that the Government has set. Not Al Quran and Al-Hadith.Well this is another area that needs a long and detail analysis...

Ive diverted from the original aim of writing about Ramadhan, although its not totally unconnected...Anyways,have a good Ramadhan and may Allah swt guide us to the straight and correct path and protect us from evil and hellfire.Ameen.