to publish or not to...

...have some post yet to be published,its those writings yang the mind macam tengah hyper giler...

money n friends...

1.What is it about life that makes it interesting ?




A friend that you have not met for five years appears in front of your door and wants to chat ? Didn't know how to react,surprised to say the least,I certainly was not in the mood,its been a long day and emotional confrontation wasn't exactly my priority.




He borrowed some money from me some years ago ( 5 to be exact ) and wanted to pay some, told me all the reasons why he has remained silent and why he cant pay me then and why he still cant pay in full now. Wanted to pay me 10% of what he owed.




Was full of regret and told me that he has lost lots of friends and did not want to lose me as a friend as well( hmm...not sure about that).Initially i just listen, I certainly don't believe that you should kick a guy when he is down and ...almost out...


My biggest disappointment was not because he did not pay but the fact that he did not contact me these last few years to explain and try to make me understand the problems he was facing...




We go a long way back,friends should be honest enough to each other. I don't really know how to react,partly because I was numb to whatever was said...and the fact that he was nearly in tears,made me felt sorry for him...but nothing more.




Its also sad that money is a factor in so many things today.Misunderstandings,leading to quarrels and break in relationship can all be attributed( partly) to money.A lot of people( friends) owe me money,easily amounting to the thousands,when i lend these monies it was truly for friends who are in trouble ( not so sure now...) but i do feel taken advantage of...




2...read this quotation somewhere..."Even God doesnt judge others until our lives are over.Why should we ?

a reason,a season,a lifetime...

...someone comes into your life for a reason,a season or a lifetime,heard this beautiful phrase somewhere before,...this will be the basis/framework for my comments or its just for a lack of an idea on a proper title...

Polygamy is an issue that has been discussed for long-long time,there have been many views on this by many "experts" ( if there is one anyway ) giving the pros and cons on this. My brother and sister in law are both in a polygamous marriage,and i have some friends who are too. From this "collection" of samples,the results are skewed towards the negative,though there are instances of positive ones.( if my writing sounds v research like,its because I'm multi tasking right now( polygamous work...he...he).

From the Islamic point of view,polygamy is allowed,but not encouraged.( Surah 4 Anissa[3]...marry women of your choice,two or,three or ,four;but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly,then only one...)-The prophet,s.a.w. only practised polygamy after the death of Khatijah. "Justly" is not an easy concept to practise, especially from the emotional point of view. In our current environment most people cant even handle a monogamous marriage,the statistics on divorce and abuse of the Islamic law speaks for itself.

The reason for this is mainly because most people(Muslims) would use Islam only for the ceremonial aspects of the marriage but not the "spiritual" aspects of Islam in the marriage.Values such as fairness,transparency,honesty,empathy,respect,attention and yes even love-is only apparent before marriage,not during and especially so when there is another "interest"-another women. Women who enter a polygamous marriage must accept the fact that she is in a shared environment-most women cant accept this,most man can(obviously) but most ( man and women ) forget the "spiritual side" responsibility.

For the most romantics,polygamy,as an idea is repulsive-isn't love n marriage, is about being with the person you love for the rest of your life ? ( Swans have only partner in a lifetime-its their fitrah,Black widow spiders on the other hand have many partners-though they all die after a good round of sex[ only reason] !) What then is humans fitrah ? For most men its normal to be attracted to other women ( mainly sexual not necessarily only for ),that's the reason for having women as an attraction in "advertising" strategies-imagine men as umbrella "girls" for F1...he...he.... most women on the other hand are single partner creatures-once married,they are not interested(nor attracted) to other men,except for the casual interest in hunks such as George Clooney,Amitabh Bachan,-or whoso ever attracts their imagination or their idea of a strong masculine alpha male or some romantic figure-but that's it, it doesn't go beyond that( i think ) -my wife loves Amitabh anyway.They don't desire these people nor fantasize about these people ( hmm...not so sure mah). Men on the other hand "love" Paris Hilton and I'm 100% sure its not for her intelligence ! The point I'm trying to make here is that in a relationship Men and Women look for different things. ( This is a very generalised statement ,just for the sake of context in this writing ).

Therein lies the beauty of Islam,polygamy,is allowed in Islam,because its in man's nature ( fitrah ) to be polygamous.But its not a free for all escape clause,which unfortunately,is being used by most Muslim men.Amongst the ( common ) reasons used by men are 1.first wife cant have kids 2.loveless marriage 3.entitlement-its his right 4.unusual sexual appetite 5.can afford it and so on...whatever the reasons,most failed because from day one-the reasons have been wrong.( this needs another paper to explain ) suffice to say at this point, that reference to the spirit of love n marriage in an Islamic perspective is not adhered to;because that's the way it is nowadays. Islam is not only for birth,marriage or death, its also for love,marriage,relationships,the way we live,in this lifetime, so that we will know the way-when we die in the next lifetime. God knows best.

NST Online bsmallMARC LOURDES/small/B BRIf only life in Gaza was a movie

NST Online bsmallMARC LOURDES/small/B BRIf only life in Gaza was a movie

My LIFE @ 50...

I'm 50 today !! Yes i was born today,( 50 years ago)Friday( same day too, today ),25 December 1959-in my I/C its the 27th,this is because when my Dad when to report to the police station,on Monday, they decided to just report the DOB as 27th(which was a Sunday) to avoid hassels of not reporting it earlier !( was born at home in Kpg Datuk Keramat,Kuala Lumpur ( then Selangor ).

Time flies,it seems just yesterday,that I just graduated from ITM,(got married in between),then from universities in the States.

Im happily married, I have 5 wonderful children that God has granted me-each with their own unique character-life has been good to me-Alhamdulillah.I hope and pray,everyday, to Allah swt that they will be successful in this life and in the hereafter,that they will always be guided and protected by the All mighty,Allah swt forever.i wish i could be a better parent,but i think ive done a pretty reasonable job and pray(and hope) that Allah swt will accept what i have done and reward me.

Two of my eldest daughters are married to reasonably nice blokes,whom at least to what i have seen are people who are reasonable,treat my daughters well and more importantly do their solat.i have a wonderfully absolutely cute cucu ( 10 mnts old ) They( my sons in law) are not bad looking either. Their parents ( both) are wonderful people who share similar values on family,life and religion and are basically nice people-Alhamdoolillah.


As for my career,i started as a teacher (@ITM) lecturer ? ( almost 10 years) i like the term teacher better,( left to try the outside world) have work for one of the country's big(gest) conglomerate then,also with one of the worse run ones ! Started as a project manager and(and three companies later) my last position before i resigned and open my own business was a GM ( was a GM in my late 30's ).

Have been completely on my own for the last ten years( wth Allah's help and permission) and i think Ive done reasonably well.I'm not financially independent yet...but i hope to be in the next few years.I have work hard and i hope before i celebrate my 60th birthday,i will be able to spend more time with my children,cucu s-more time to read,write... ( one of my passions ),and more time wth my wife,travelling and just doing things together.


Travelling-i have done my fair share,gone to most major cities of the world,maybe i hope one day to travel to places like Alaska,Sahara,Africa,Amazon,North/South pole .Yes perhaps,perform my Hajj a second time ( first one was in 2005 ).,well these are my initial thoughts this morning as i celebrate my 50th year of existence...

something to ponder...

...last week it was reported in the Star that the police officer that will be charged in the death of Kugan is an Indian officer. What is interesting is that this report was somewhere in the middle pages and in a rather hidden corner. This is where i feel that Newspapers are not playing their role in dismissing stereotyping of race,it was long assume that the police officers involved was Malay and that Malays in Government position was abusive,corrupted etc. Abusive people are found in ALL races.

...today in the Star (F33) Zainah Anwar says that Malaysia is turning into a police state like Iran and Afghanistan under Taliban rule.She has a whole page column to air her views.This is because one lady was found guilty of drinking and has been sentence to be caned( of course she never mentions that the lady herself has repented and wants to be caned). She laments on other cases of VVIP/Males not meted the same punishment etc.(two wrongs does not make a right) of the inefficiency and waste of resources of the Syariah courts...

There seems to be a lot of anger and "hate" in her article...

Why doesnt the Star on the very opposite page allows a differing view ? Is there a hidden agenda ? Can someone enlighten Malaysians, how many cases are there involving drunks,abusive couples,accidents etc that is directly related to "drinking" alcohalic drinks...
The number of divorce cases that is backlog in the civil courts...

People like her are confusing the non Muslims...may Allah swt forgive her and guide her...

A quick thought on our Current woes...

Why we need to find an answer and quickly. Malaysia is at a critical stage in its political development,while we look relatively stable on the surface,there is a strong under current of discontent,the signs are there for all to see.The case of the cows head in the Shah Alam temple's case,the MIC election and its "expected" outcome,the going ons in MCA and PKFZs case.As for UMNO,it has yet to win a by election in the Peninsular !The new Selangor's state government has not been spared either,the issue of selling alcohol in a Muslim neighbourhood,SELCATs methods being question and the apparent spilt in Pakatan and PAS.Oh... ,and the "fall" of the elected Perak state government.All these and more in the last 20 months or so.Race relations are fragile,the non Malays feel that things have not changed much since the last general elections while the Malays believe that their rights are being eroded to accommodate the demands of the non Malays. Of course this is a generalisation of the situation in Malaysia. Many Malaysians on the other hand have managed to look beyond racial sentiments ( the reason for strong showing of Pakatan ) to send a strong message to the ruling coalition that "Malaysians" has had enough of mismanagement,corruption,power abuse etc by some members of the ruling coalition. The new Prime Minister is trying his best to solve this image problem of BN,(and in particular UMNO) some real,some imagined.While some of his efforts can be lauded,the overall impact is still too little. For one,in order for the PM not to lose Malay votes ( ie the ones who are Pas supporters but not hard core members) they must stop being critical of personalities like Nik Aziz and Anwar Ibrahim.Instead they should focus on real issues ( nation building,poverty,corruption,economic prosperity,race relations,religious issues ),they should send the message that they are the best solution to solve the country's problems and woes.For the past 20 months,they have yet to provide concrete plans to solve the problems that has cause their worse election results since Independence. At the time of writing this article,what has happen to the Lingams case ? What will be the outcome of PKFZ ? these issues ( and many others)needs a satisfactory ending or else the outcome of the 14th general elections is a forgone conclusion.Sweeping issues under the carpet(and thinking that it will be forgotten and forgiven is a wrong and suicidal attitude.Malaysia still need a multi racial coalition that ensures the Malays that their rights are protected-not through bias contracts or quotas or patronising policies-but by ensuring that the Malay language and culture and religion will be given its due standing.Not through domination but through policies that ensure its acceptance by all Malaysians.What makes a Malaysian ? Most non Malays have accepted that this country must have one binding language and culture and because historically this is a Malay nation than the language should be Malay and the culture Malay based-they don't have to apologize for this by policies that seems to contradict this fact.This happens in all previous civilization,the minority adapts to the majority and still happens in most countries-Australia,Britain,USA,China. the minority adapts but without losing their culture and identity and in some areas there is a mix of all local cultures,which develops over time.This must be the basis of a truly united Malaysia,but it must exist in an environment of "strong and principled leadership"(SPL) there is no choice,if the current leadership of both BN and Pakatan does not reflect the SPL and accept the fact that this is a Malay majority nation,I'm afraid that we are living in a dangerous "time bomb" (that needs immediate diffusion) that is about to explode...God forbids.