Is There a Right Time...?

The events in the last few weeks have been eye opening to say the least. In the early part of Ramadhan,about the second week I was hit by fainting spells,blackouts that last between 10-20 seconds. Of course, i dont know what happened during those blackouts but i was told by my youngest son,Imraan, who happened to be around on all four occasions that papa just crumble to the ground-luckily for me three of those occasions were inside the house and one was just outside the front door. On the fourth occasion i actually hit my head to the floor first and when i was concious felt like someone had hit my head with a baseball bat ( of course if that had happened i would not be writing now...) So the next day I went straight to see a specialist/physician and spend half the day there going through test after test-blood,x ray,scan and was immediately ordered to the CCU,because my blood test showed that i had certain enzymes which will only be present if theres something wrong with my heart.

I was "surprised" by the preliminary findings but suprisingly cool about the whole thing, my wife and children was more affacted by this whole episode-you know me, in CCU ( Coronary Care Unit ) with all the wire attached to my body to monitor my heart i was also supplied oxygen to help me breath so that my heart could rest ! So u can imagine the scene,the rest of the patients were those who just had bypass or a heart attack-the scene was very depressing.

For your information I have never been hospitalised for a single day in a hospital-i was born at home ( so my mom told me ),was never sick as a child (666 !) and was even circumsised at home ! So then suddenly i was spending this night alone at the hospital and watching being zoom in and out of the OT ( at the CCU the rooms hv glasses so that the can monitor u )-for the first time in my life i am forced to lie down in bed and do nothing but rest and sleep. But the human mind is a wonderful thing, i didnt want to sleep and rest-i wanted to think-for all the sedative they gave me, i couldnt sleep-but i had the whole night to my self to think and ponder about...death,which is all around me. Is there a right time to die ? Do i want to die ? Have i done my responsiblity to my creator and done enough good deeds on this earth ? Thousand and one questions and thoughts,but the thing is i was not stress or upset, infact come to think of it i was very calm,until i begin to understand the monitors that was beside me...