Relationship part 2...

i have had many experiences in my life,sometimes these experiences makes me feel that i have come a long way in understanding this life,the emotions involved,people,relationships,our purpose in this world...but then again i realize, i really dont know much ! U know life is like a roller coaster, one day you are way up there and b4 you know youre right down there. my best years financially 98-2000 were also my worse years personally. spritually i was really "bad" !! My ego was at its worse ( i had bosses who taught me that the only way to get things done was to be mean ), i thought i was smart or at least smarter than most, i was paid the highest amongs my peers. My subordinates were either really afraid of me or pretended to be afraid,most i think hated me-i use to scream and throw tantrums( bcos it was the culture) and anything my hands could get to. Less than three years in the so called "blue eyed corporate group" of those years, i was given a company to run. iI was moving upwards and fast in these organisations and manage to turn around two companies and managed to even get one of these companies listed. but i always felt empty, i was loosing myself,my friends and more importantly my family...i didnt really have true good friends, i had many aquaintances and a lot of people around me that were there because i had something to offer or i presented a threat to the position that they were holding or i presented them an oppurtunity to get close to the so called corporate captains at that time...when i think about it i really didnt like the person i was then.



So i left the group in the year 2000 and tried to be on my own. Financially those were really lean years. But those years in the corporate world did train me to be a fighter,to never give up. I also had more time to do a lot of soul searching. When you dont have money and position then you get to know people who really are you friends-which is not many. you also get to know yourself better-your limits,what you really want and somehow look at things in a different perspective...you learn that life is a process and that you never really stop learning. you refocus,reevaluate and rediscover your self. More than anything in this world i wanted contentment,peace and feel good ( happy ) and good companionship. Books were my first love, i discovered at an early age that i could read a good book and move into another world,the subject matter did not really matter-as long as it was interesthing ( to me at least ) They were my friend then and they still are today and i still spend a lot on books today as i did when i was in the group.

Where is all this leading to...tak tau la. But i do want to tell this story,what happen yesterday. Ive seen a lot,but yesterday was something else. I got to know these ladies recently,less than a few months,and we were discussing ways to do business as they were in the FnB business and needed some help that was related to my line-design and construction ( although its not what i do now,i do hv some experience and knowledge)

After a lenghthy discussion on the proposed site ( they have a restaurant that they want to renovate ) one of them call me and said she needed to meet me later as there was an urgent matter. To cut the story short-she ask me for a loan and told me that all their accounts are frozen due to some technicallity-kind of hard to believe,both driving expensive cars,dress well and well educated. The amount they ask was small ( because she told me it was for the two of them as they had to fly somewhere the next day,tickets dah ada just needed some cash for the day trip to east malaysia,i think...?

She said they will pay me in a month-but how do you operate a restaurant if you cant even have or dnt have cash ? They said if they dont have the money they would have to cancell the trip and it will cause losses to their business. normally i wouldnt have mind,but recently a lot of "friends" have not being paying loans wth sob2 stories-total amount thus far about 20k. Some as long as 5 years-i consider it gone...

so am i a fool ? or too soft for business ? or people see me as someone that can be easily taken advantage of ? Theres more to this,both these ladies are also divorced,...people say im too close to them, i dont think so bacause i dont think you should be judge on your marital status, u know the stigma...so what do you do,just walk away because they are divorced ,well i dont know....ah the complexity of relationships !!!