rumbling thots...

Some arguments can spoil a friendship or a relationship to the point of no return...possible ? you think you know someone well enough and feel close enough to say anything and not hide anything...then you end up fighting

...but there is a line and once you crossed the line its very difficult to return to the original situation..."feeling secure relax and confident" maybe we are afraid,cautious and don't want a "repeat of the hurtful fight" but it can never be the same again, or am i being too pessimistic ?

so what do you do ? Try to mend it or keep to yourself and withdraw for a while...but the a while might be too long and it becomes harder to mend. this is especially true if the parties involved are very sensitive people.

Ive always pride myself for being very open,being able to say what i think ( it gets me in trouble lots of time ) and able to accept any opinion as long as it is reasonable, rational and objective. But most people don't like to hear the truth. My problem is that sometimes i "sound" emotional-but I'm not. unfortunately for me that how i speak when i want to get a point across...

So people who are close to me accepts this-but then there are times even the close friends find my argument offensive ( actually its more of the way it is said...) Ive tried to reason this out-a possibility is because of my work-being a consultant it very frustrating when you talk to people who doublespeak all the time, so you stress your point often to get the message across...?

does it matter ? if the "problem" is with someone you dont care-it does not,not to me anyway but if you do care for the person ( close friends,family ) memang pening...

last days of Ramadhan...

Salams...its incredible how fast the days have gone by,there is less than 10days (nights) of Ramadhan left. As a reminder-the last ten days are the most rewarding as it is the most challenging. We should strive to maximise our ibadah as we never know whether we will be given the opportunity to experience the next ramadhan...

nuzul quran...

Today is Nuzul Quran n its a Public Holiday in Selangor. Its a good time to take stock of what we have achieved in this blessed month...May Allah swt continouslly guide and protect us in this temporal world...

For those that have been reading the Quran and know the significance of this very special month, Alhamdoolillah. One of the most special aspect of Ramadhan is the promise that Allah swt made that he will forgive all our sins ( except syirik ) this month if we fulfill our fasting obligations...yes, all of our sins-n Allah will certaintly carry out his promise.

For those who have the translation of the Quran read Surah33,verse35 to reinforce the characteristics of good muslims,and for those who wants to get closer to Allah swt, try the night prayers,insyaAllah,the feeling is very special and rewarding indeed...

For me...Its been anything but a holiday. My mother in law has been in hospital for the past month and the last few days her condition has taken the turn for worse, she is now in ICU at Serdang Hospital. She was transferred to Serdang only yesterday-before that she was admitted to SMC/SSC in Shah Alam for obvious reasons-dekat and expecting a better service,since she is very old 86+ and we first admitted her to do an ops since she had a fall which fractured her thigh bone. The operation was successful and she was in high spirits for about a week b4 it got worse and abt two weeks ago she had a minor stroke according to the doctors and she has been in and out of ICU there. But hospitals in Malaysia has to be a lot more sensitive-there is more to "medical needs" in a patients recuparation. In ICU you are allowed only about 4hours of visitation,that is to be by the bedside-this is very depressing for both patient and loved ones-when the patient wakes up,seeing her ownwill uplift her spirit but more often than not its the nurses,whose expression is more often than not " dont really care its just my job kinda of muka !!". further more last week when she was having difficulties ( we thot she was ready to go ) the nurses in SSC was very insensitive n the fact that 90% of them were non muslims didnt help. How many of us are prepared to face orang yang nazak and knows what to do...

...the other thing,private hospitals cost a bomb,up till today the hospitalisation has cost us/her RM50k. Thats when we decided that she has to be moved to Serdang. At SMC the ICU was RM300 per day than there is the visits by specialist etc...so for those not in Government service its better to get a good insurance coverage which includes hospitalisation plans for old age as well.

Im of the opinion that the Government should provide completely free medical services !~ Like a social obligation/function ( social state ) Hospitals/Medicine is now big business worldwide and when you mix social responsiblity with business-its dangerous. I know its costly and that we in Malaysia r so very fortunate to have an excellent medical infrastucture...but some sort of coverage must exist for all. We had to pay the ambulance services to our house COD ! RM2oo+ and later RM300 to take her to Serdang ! Its so cold n business like when u call the ambulance service,its like we are losing our humanity...

Theres a lot more i would like to say about our medical services in this country ( both positive and negative aspects ) but i would like to do some research to substantiate my claims later...but i would like to put on record that there were also very good doctors/nurses who have not forget that the human aspects is just as or more important than all the "medicines/expertise" in the world !!

4 september 1982

...today is a very special day for me for various reasons. First and foremost its my 26th wedding anniversary,yep Ive been married for 26 years ! Its been an amazing 26 years, ive been married longer than when i was single ( was 22 ) . Meaning being married is my life and i cannot imagine a life without my wife and my family. which begs the obvious question-why i never tell/write about my family in my blog. I have never really thought about it actually,but its got to do with the early part of the marriage. we married as students and have always done things together-our first child was born exactly ten biological months after our wedding day ! She was born on the 5th july 1983, she is 25 now and happily married herself,pregnant and expecting her first child in Feb 2007. me a grand dad then!

Part of the test of our marriage was the fact that we married so young that when we students and in the early part of our carreers we didnt know how to handle other relatonships-her friends,my friends especially the new ones or the ones who did not know we were married. And during the 80's my circle was less religous and too liberal-this freedom did cause a certain amount of problem in our relationship-but we learn to adapt and compromise to make the marriage work. Yes we were in love-but love alone is not enough to make a marriage work we had to work hard to give our marriage a chance...alhamdoolillah it has lasted this long and i pray and hope that our marriage will last until one of us, breath his/her last breath.

We both dont look our age and when i got married,most people think my wife n i use the marriage excuse to our advantage,actually its otherwise.

So in order not to complicate matters we rarely tell people that we meet for the first time that we are married-everytime we tell people that we were married most people do not believe us anyway. My wife is blessed with a "baby face" ,even today she can pass off as 20's or early 30's and there are times some people still make a pass at her !

In the early years it was difficult for me, but we adjust and accept it. Well thats one of the reasons, i dont know whether it makes sense. The other is we always had to hide from our sponsors ( jpa ) then the fact that we were married,for four years in the states we never introduce to strangers the fact that we were married until we were sure that it was safe. We cannot afford to lose our schlarship as we had a child then and the fact that we both did not want to fail our parents,family and of course our sponsors.( Today is the17th of September-kononnya nak tambah lagi cerita later,but its been soooo...hectic nanti lansung tak post,never mind when the time is right or kalu ada time...)